days of my life.

its been so long since the last entry i have here and i dunt know if anyone still reads it, but thats fine, coz i am only writing in here to let out some of my feelings.

alot has been going on recently and i've really tried my very best to handle everything at the same time. and btw, i am not a very good multi-task handler. ha.

somethings i feel that i have to let it out and to at least make myself feel better.

1st of all, i might not be a very very very sensitive person, but i do care about people's feelings and i am not a person who's good at expressing myself, so if you are my friend you will notice i will ask "you know what i am talking about? / you know what i am saying?/ you know what i mean? " coz i just dunt want my words come out wrong / gives the wrong idea.

2nd of all, i am a human being, so i for sure have feelings and i hardly let it all out infront of anyone. and pardon me if u only see me as me as whom u thought u know. I dunt want to make things/feelings or any kind of emotions gets too complicated or deep becoz we all are vulnerable to these damages. so i have tried to say some hard things in the easiest possible way and i really do hope that it works.

3rd regarding about my uni things, its still messy and complicated and hard and i am handling this as much as i can and i really do appreciate some support/ encourage from friends, not pouring cold water on me.

uni has always been my dream, since the very 1st day i step into my primary school, i know i will not giving up studying until i get my degree. (it might sound very exaggerated, but i really do mean it) so whatever i do now, its part of fulfilling my own dream. and seriously, i dunt feel sorry or guilty or even a little bit of regret of making my dream come true. overall its not sth bad, its a wonderful thing to have a dream to have that sth that you want it so badly and you will do whatever to achieve it. and i dunt give it a damn about if i chasing my degree-dream hurts anyone's feelings. seriously, i dunt care.

and i dunt how to make it sound better, but if you are reading this and you are a friend of mine and you treats me as your friend, you should understand that i am missing out on things not on purpose but coz i am focusing on getting my uni deal done.

last but not least, about me after uni,

will i come back to singapore or not?

to that, I DON'T KNOW.

i have thing 3 years working bound with the govt. and i have to serve it no matter what.
and i can do it in 2 ways.

1. come back to singapore find a company and work.
2. find a singapore company outside of singapore and work.

so i dunt know which way i will choose yet but when the time comes i will.

and i feel no obligation to choose way 1 or way 2 for anyone or for any reason, becoz its my life, its about how i want to live it and it depends on me. not depends on anyone's approval, anyone's feelings or anyone's opinion.

and i think, thats about all the things i want to say. and i know this entry might be harsh or unsensible or even hurtful, but i guess, no one would want to live a life for others but not for themselves don't they?

so i hope i have made my point here. and just dunt get me wrong by thinking i am a heartless person who doesnt care about others' feelings. in fact i do care it very much.

and trust me its a tough decision to make when it comes to leave or stay.

i love all my friends who loves me and i treasure everything, every friend, every friendship that i have ever had here and i will really miss it when i leave this wonderful place.

theres still sth left unsaid, and i guess i just could say it here. so thats all.

nites :)

totally speechless. :(

i am really very worried about it and the worst part is i can do nothing about it.
It seems like theres no other way out and i think the only thing i can do now is wait.
Wait for the time to pass and wait for myself to get older and older.

iamverysad.veryverysad.

for you.

you said, you will wait for my uni graduation and attend my graduation ceremony

you dont cook and you hate cooking but you'll always cook my fav. dish when i go back to your place and i know thats the only dish you know how to cook and you actually learnt how to cook it just for me.

when i cry, you hug me and tell me you are a superman and wont let any one bully me

i am the only one that you've allowed to read newspaper with you together even though at that time i only know about 50 chinese words.

before i had my operation, you secretly bring me out of the hospital and taught me how to fly a kite.

when i was being sent to the operation room, you are the last one to let go of my hand.

when i failed my tests and dare not to ask my parents for their signature, you will always sign on the failed paper and told me i got to score a 100 next time to make up for that.

you sent me to the airport and you were holding my hands until the minute i had to board the plane

you dont talk much but you always talk to me and ans my silly questions

the last thing you asked me to do which i didnt do is to spend a chinese new year with you
and the last thing i can do for you is to keep all the memories in my heart.

bye bye.
and i know you will be just as happy up there.



one apple, one orange.
poker cards, mahjong and chess
and a warm smile on your face. :)

不做你的天使....

听说过,
人的眼泪是希望
天使的眼泪是离别

每一次因想念而流下的眼泪
是我希望你会陪在我身边

每一次睡觉前都会努力祈祷
是希望我可以梦到你的脸

我的眼泪是希望,
我不做你的天使, 因为讨厌再次离别.

times like this, i really do hope that you could be with me.
loves.

!

its a random post.

i hate people want to tell me something and they stopped after they told me half of it.
i hate people dont appreciate for what i have done for them
i hate people whos trying to act as if he's my friend when he is not
i hate this you-dont-know, nvm-lets-drop-the-topic thing.
(i am NOT an idiot, and stop telling me *nvm, u dont know*. AND if you dont wish to say anything then dont even bring it into the conversation. im not some idle person whos got nth to do and listen to your stupid and unimportant story ok!!!??)

so if u think u will do one of the above things, then dont be my friend.
and if u are already my friend, then DONT DO ANY OF THE ABOVE.


dont come and ruin my day.
its really better if you can just

SHUT UP AND GET LOST.
if not, you can go and fcuk yourself.

yes. am angry.

before CT

*dont have time for a proper nice pose*

*argh!!! whats that?? why like that??? DUNT UNDERSTAND!!!*

the BATTLE FIELD.

time is seriously NOT enough.

and these was taken a few days ago when we were in the library studying for our CT.

now, 2/4 papers over, and all of us felt that the FP 10% quiz histroy is going to repeat.

SHIT.

CT. and more

i am feeling very stressed. really really very very very stressed.........
stressed not only by Common test, but also other things.
life's not easy esp recently.




and i dont understand why you said that.
you know that i am having my common test this period
and i really tried to....
but common test this time is really stressful
and i really dont want to fail any paper again.

my dear friend,
may be you could try to be more understanding.

deeply appreciated.

you are hopeless.

i thought it was easy to deny,
i thought it was easy to hold on,
i thought it was easy to keep looking on the brighter side...
i thought.....

now
i know that i was wrong.
and
it can never be right.

pics! :)

so the whole class went to Yum Cha to have Dim Sum buffet after school. ^^

so after thebuffet, when all of us get into the lift, this sign show. LOL. (we ate too much already haha )

but we are still very happy! :) TA06 rocks. ^^

the girls ^^

7th nov. 2008. gathering with ber, dawn, hs, th and ben :)

sentosa with TA06. long ago haha =)

10th nov. MY BIRTHDAY :))

and i really feel like buying this dress. =(

Class Chalet on 10th oct to 12oct. ^^

P.S. Cafe ^^ on 6th nov. 2008. Love my Martini. :))

她。

一杯热咖啡，
陪伴了她一整个下午

房间里那盏她最爱的灯所发出来的微弱的光似乎比
窗外那被乌云遮挡住了的阳光还要刺眼

发着呆，没有主题的乱想，
然后也想着他。

想到香浓的咖啡味渐渐的散去
想到咖啡从香浓变成酸苦
想到外面从闷闷阴天变成湿湿雨天
想到......忘记自己


如果她的爱，不足够让他深深的陷下去
那至少，她会用她不足够大的身影去承担他所有的委屈和不如意......


小时候的她，曾经偷偷的在生日那天许下了一个愿望

因为那是愿望， 所以她把它叫做
爱情，

因为那是爱情，所以她把它叫做

曾经。


宝贝，下雨了
我们别想了。

for you.

你做的任何一件小事都可以轻易的感动我

一直，一直

让我感动。